So long 2011, Hello 2012! =D

2011..

A year that was. I can say that year 2011 was a great year with great friends!

Like any other year, it was full of challenges, ups and downs. And like any other year, we all made it through those storms. God is really great for orchestrating everything that I'm awed at how He does it.

2012..

A new year! And I look forward to what this year has in store for me and everyone else who are special to me.

I'm not praying for a problem-free year because I know that's not how things are. I pray for a courageous heart to bear everything that will come, happy or sad, positive or negative, light or heavy.

And to everyone who has made my 2011 very special, I know in me that a greater 2012 is ahead of us. With you guys, things ar just piece of cake!

Thank you very much dear Lord for everything you bestow upon us. Thank you for always watching over us and bringing out the best in us for your greater glory! =D

Just a Few New Things About Me.. =D

It has been a long time since I last blogged. A lot of things happened, both happy and not so happy. But to sum it all up, life has been so kind to me, God has and always has been so generous to me.

It was for some years that I was neutral in a sense that I don't really belong to a group. I'm like a floating member of the faculty. But this school year is different. I'm part of the good group so to speak. And I'm glad to be a part of it. We are awesome as individuals, moreso when we are together. Our bonding is usually over coffee or lunch or dinner; in short FOOD! We don't talk about other people, we talk about our lives, our wishes, our plans for more bonding time during breaks. But since our common ground is work, we sometimes talk about our ups and downs, our ideas of what is happening around. But most of all, we affirm each others good qualities, we uplift each other when we are down and we stand by each of us. Thank you God for Roanne, Fransly, Rheema, Via, Mommy 12, Mau. You guys are really great friends!

This 2nd sem of SY 2011-2o12, I'm back to school, as a student. It has been 11 years since I last attended school, and I was so excited when I got accepted at the Ateneo de Manila University. I'm enrolled as a post grad student of MS Science Education major in Biology. Although the subjects I'm taking now are supposed to be the last ones I should've enrolled at, I don't mind at all. Because all I want is to go back to school. It's not easy because I'm still a full-time teacher, but I'm up for the challenge. My first "test" as a student was to give a report about Correlational Research with my partner Grace Yn. And I think we did well. The next one was our first long test in stat. I was confident of most of my answers except 1 item worth 20 points. But when my paper was returned, I lost 22 points because of carelessness. I could've gotten A- but instead ended up getting a B. But I definitely learned my lesson which ironically I also keep reminding my students about, be careful! Harder challenges are on their way as we are expected to write a micro-research paper for our Methods and Materials for Reseach. And writing a research paper, no matter how micro that would be is my waterloo. I hope that after this subject, things go around that I would appreciate research writing and be better at it. As for stat, I will definitely do better next time as I keep in mind to be more careful when answering the exam questions.

Here at home, we have a new member to grace our family, Dennise Luela Gabrielle P. Llanto; Gab for short. (I actually pity her when she starts schooling cause she has a very long name to write on her paper. I hope though that it fits in one line.. -.-) She's a very adorable baby girl for her unceasing laughter and cute tactics. It's so nice seeing her wake up and smile at you. It so cute making her sleep. It's so great talking to her and eventhough I know she doesn't understand everything I tell her, she never fails to respond with a smile or a giggle. I pray that she grows into a beautiful lady inside and out.

I think I have written a lot already although I know there are still more that I can write about. So, that's it for now.

PS. I miss my bird family in Pasig. Also, I miss you B!

Just going to blab.. =)

It was a long time since my last blog.. so I'm just going to blab.. haha! =)

At first I thought of writing about my year 2010.. but i'll just reserve that on the 31st.. =)

I woke up early today (7:45am) despite sleeping at around 3 am.. hehe.. I think my body is just used to the 4 hour sleep.. I wanted to go back to sleep but I feel so awake already.

Kitty called and invited me to a lunch at Lutong Macau.. Got excited about it.. both the bonding with Pasig Family and the place where we are going to eat. I've heard a lot of good stuff about Lutong Macau and I look forward to a great lunch there. =)

I've been home alone since the night of Dec. 22.. And it doesn't feel nice at all.. Here's my day-to-day account of my being "home-alone"

Dec. 22. -- It was mama's 3rd birthday in heaven. We went to Batangas with Tita Merlie and Aikit.. But needed to leave around 12:30 because Aikit still has a party to attend to at 4pm.. Kuya and I went down in Filmore with the intention to eat in Amber's after we withdraw from BPI. But since Amber's is so full that you have to wait for 1 1/2 hour, we decided to just go in Cash and Carry and see where we can eat. He chose Savory because he's been craving for lumpiang shanghai. We went home after eating and watched Alice in Wonderland. When the movie is over, he left already. When I was alone, I heated our leftover for dinner, packed my things for a sleepover for the following day, just enjoyed the time with pwinkee and dozzed off early.

Dec. 23 -- I woke up a bit a late and then started to prepare going to Pasig. I got there around 12:00 noon, just in time for lunch. Kitty and I went to Shang and Megamall hoping to buy her pump as my Christmas gift for her, but we found none.. =( .. We had late merienda/early dinner at Pizza Hut and had cheese-oveload.. haha! We went home around 6pm, took a bath and prepared for bed. We were supposed to watch the replay of the Spurs game that day but I fell asleep during the 2nd quarter.

Dec.24 -- woke up at 4:20 for the 5pm dawn mass and breakfast at the garden for Ms. Ona's birthday. After breakfast, we went back in the room for another Spurs game. But before the game we did some picture taking and shirt measuring. Had lunch after the game and then watched Lea Salonga's Your Song Concert on DVD. Then I prepared for home. Alone again.. I was in the mood to do general cleaning of the room.. Called McDonald's for a delivery.. Felt so refreshed after taking a bath. Had spag, chicken, nuggets and left over pizza for my early Christmas Eve dinner. Slept at around 11pm.

Dec 25 -- cleaned the house some more.. took a bath and off to Megamall for the Christmas Day mass.. I dropped by Kitty's place for her chicos and Juliane's gift for me. I was able to catch the 12:30pm mass. Ate t-bone steak at Sizzling Plate, went to subway for a take out (that's my dinner).. Got to buy a nice pair of gray sandals from Gibi.. it's on sale and it has 4-inch heels! Haha!

Dec. 26 -- I got a visit from my godson Shaun with his mom Ate Ge. Fixed and counted the laundry. Had brunch at Ka Anong's atbp. Found a laundry place and asked some stuff. Prepared for church but brought the laundry first before going to Megamall. I met up with Kitty at Dulcinea and headed at the Chapel of the Eucharistic Lord for the 2pm Sunday mass. Al saw me in church and said hi to each other. Kitty needed her 30 minutes time with the Lord after church so I went to Alexis to see if they have a link already for my Fossil watch, but none.. Kitty and I looked for her pump. Saw one at Concorde but she's still thinking about it. Just commuted going home, stopped by Akik to buy pancit but I also ended up eating longsilog while waiting for my pancit canton. Walked few blocks for my BBQ, then walked one block at tita's school supply and bought illustration board and pink cartolina, took pedicab going home. I got so excited about my puzzle so I started doing it. Didn't feel like eating dinner so i just placed my pancit canton and BBQ in the fridge for breakfast. I finished my puzzle around 12 midnight.

Dec 27 -- I just stayed at home. Cleaned the room. I FOUND THE LINK TO MY FOSSIL WATCH!!! =D .. ate the pancil canton and bbq for breakfast.. enjoyed time with pwinkee.. afternoon nap.. bath.. bought food for dinner.. got so hooked up decorating Pinkee's tent and Carriage Room in Pet Society.. Had a good and honest chat with ate from 11:30pm - 3am.

Now.. how do I feel? I feel so ALONE.. duh! But honestly, I didn't like the feeling of having the house to myself for a long time. Although we don't really get to talk that much here at home but their mere presence is something that I miss.. The moments we get to chat of what happened during the day, the kulit with japs of how tababoy we are.. The mutual agreement to buy ice cream or just anything we can munch on. Hay.. I look forward to their going home today.

And maybe to sum things up.. It feels so lonely spending Christmas by myself.

MY UNFORGETTABLE MRT RIDE

Today, I had the most terrible MRT ride to and from work.

I arrived around 7:15am at Guadalupe station going to Santolan/Annapolis Station. I let the first train pass because it was already full. I was in front of everybody while waiting for the next train. When the next train came, I intended not to go inside at once since there are some passengers about to go down. But me, without exerting a bit of my own energy, was pushed inside the train all unprepared and shocked for what happened. I ended up hugging my things to my stomach area as people keep pushing in all directions. The very uncomfortable position, congested train and different scent of people inside gave me a sick-throwing up feeling. When i got to get out of the train, I felt so dizzy and stressed for i only have few minutes left not to be late for work. For a more comfortable and fast transport, I took the cab and made it 3 minutes before my official time. I felt better after telling my co-workers of what I've experienced and less stressed since I was able to make it anyway. Lesson learned from that experience is not to take the train anymore when it is past 7am.

Going home is another different story.

All the while I thought that being a bit late and letting the rush hour pass will allow me to have a better MRT ride. But I think today, I was wrong. I arrived at Santolan/Annapolis station around 6pm. There were at first just a few passengers waiting. But when the train was taking so long to arrive, the number of people keep on increasing. I was like 2nd in the line of people waiting for the train. First train arrived, it was so full that only around 5 people were able to enter. I was in front of the line. Second train arrived, still full yet the people on my side rushed in and I was pushed aside since I managed to keep still. I surprisingly ended up again on the 2nd line. Third train, has some space but I don't know how people from my side just slide past me. I didn't bother to move from where i was standing. I was in front when the lady trying to make herself fit inside the train decided to go out and took my front spot. It was fine by me except that she keeps wagging her pony-tailed hair as she looks from side to side hitting me on my face. To my annoyance, I told her "miss yung buhok mo naman!". Fourth train came, I'm happy that it has more space now so most of the people were able to go inside including myself. There's even enough space for me to hold on to my cellphone and text until we arrived on the next station.

Ortigas Station.

There were a number of passengers waiting to go inside the train. When the train stopped and the the doors opened, people kept flooding in trapping inside the ones who need to go out. When people kept going inside despite being told that there are others who need to go out, and other people including me were getting really squished, I shouted at the top of my lungs "merong bababa, paraanin nyo ho!".. That was the only time people stopped going inside and gave way to the people going out.

Shaw to Boni Station.

People come and go and the those who are inside were still being squished, but people coming in gave way first to people going out. What annoyed me this time is the lady with a very long hair and didn't even think of tying it since she'll be riding a train. I somehow managed to move away from her back before I start to say something or pull a strand or two to make her realized her being insensitive.

Approaching Guadalupe station.

I was preparing myself to go down and feeling quite happy to be out of the very congested train when all of a sudden someone farted. Group of people who know each other exchanged words saying how lucky they are because they are to go down the train already. I felt that way too because it really smelled awful inside the train.

Guadalupe Station.

The line going out was long already even before we came so people from the train where I was in had to go all the way to the back of the line. Next train came and the line was still long. I saw one lady from the newly arrived train cutting the line but she's far from me so I can't do anything about it. But I felt so annoyed with what I saw and to the person who let it happen. Then, a guy was trying to go in front of me and I told him in my mataray voice "dun ka sa likod pumila!" And I guess with what I said, he really went at the back since I still saw him still in line when I was able to go out already. I didn't mind him looking at me and I even raised my eyebrow when I looked back at him.

Well, that's how it was for me today and my MRT ride. I hope that that would be my worst MRT ride and that I'll be able to adjust so for me not to experience again what happened today. And one thing I can be sure of is that I won't forget my manners on being a good commuter.

Numb

NUMB..

I can't really explain how I feel with everything that has been happening. Just when I thought that things are going well, some more things happen to test my strength.

I may have smiled and laughed at a lot of things, but deep in me I'm just as broken as most of you are. I just want simple things in life but it seems like it is so hard to make things simple like how I wanted them to be.

But like the usual me, I never lose hope cause hope is all I have.

While I was on my work this morning, after I made the sign of the cross after passing in one of the 4 churches I pass by everyday, I just all of a sudden prayed and uttered to myself "all I want is for someone to take care of me, I'm tired na po." And after that I felt light.

People who really know me always tell me that I'm a person for others. Seldom do I consider myself in my decisions, I always think of what is best for the others. That I'm willing to sacrifice all i can just for others to have enough, for others to be happy, for others burden to be light, for others to be more comfortable, for others to be hopefully contented. Then those people who really know me keep on reminding me that I should also give something to myself. But the thing is, I'm happy being able to make others happy cause there are more happy people, not just me.

I think what I have written here is so far already from the title of this blog. I just got so random cause for now, these are my THOUGHTS AT THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT.

My First Automated Election Experience

I went to vote at Rafael Palma Elementary School with my kuya. We came there around 7:45 am. When we arrived, we checked at the board the room assignment of our precinct which we got online. We belong to precinct 3047-A Barangay 805 and assigned to room 308. When we got to the 3rd floor, there are already a number of people in line but the line was a bit confusing because of the two rooms catering to two barangays. When we found our room and saw the line, kuya and I went to the tail of it. While on line, we saw familiar faces and greeted them. What we have noticed though is the difference of the system the two rooms implement. Room 307 catering to barangay 804 was able to make people go inside faster than our line. We have noticed that they give out papers as numbers for people to go in. On our line, a female assistant writes the name, page number and the voter’s number on a pink piece of paper. While an old male person does the same for the male but he wrote the information on a blue paper. They count people 1-10 who as a “set” will go inside the classroom. My kuya had a short “heated discussion” with the old male teacher what the blue paper is for. Because for us, it is their responsibility to look for our names when we reach the room, once we have given them our information upon checking it from the list they posted by the door (page number and voter’s number). For kuya and I, the pink and blue papers are just wastes. Another incident, but this one we were able to tolerate, was letting old people, kinda weak senior citizens, to go first and vote ahead of those who came early and are patiently waiting in line for their turn to vote. But this other incident really made me annoyed and really had a word fight with one of the voters. He came in around past 9 am and there are a lot of people behind me already. He claims to be a poll watcher so the old male teacher helped him to cut the line. He was placed behind me. Since I can’t really tolarate this one, I told the person originally behind me that he is so kind for letting that poll watcher guy to go in front of him because he has a work to do for being a watcher. Then, the poll watcher guy with loud voice told the old male teacher at the back that I didn’t want him to go in front of the guy originally behind me. And so I talked to him in sharp (mataray) voice and said “kung alam mong may trabaho ka, dapat maaga ka nagpunta dito. Kanina pa nasa pila ang mga tao dito at hindi porke watcher ka, may karapatan kang sumigit!” He started bubbling things like who am I and who my parents are, but I didn’t anymore mind him and not cared of where he went or whatsoever. The guy originally behind me said thanks to me when I went inside the room already for my turn to vote. I smiled at him before I let myself be attended to. The lady teacher looked for me on the list then I signed. I got my ballot, went behind the room beside kuya and started shading the “bilog na hugis itlog” beside the names of the candidates I vote for. When I went to the pcos machine to feed my ballot, it took me 3 tries before the machine at last accepted my ballot. Then, I had my right pointing finger be applied with indelible ink (which I think is way better than the previous inks from the past elections cause its really super purple and I can’t take them off) and the black ink for my thumb mark to be placed beside my signature from the voters registration list where I started. And that’s it! Kuya and I got to home after 1 hour and 30 minutes in RPES.

Voting perse was easy and fast. What took us long was the unorganized line (cause there were a few who just pretended to look for their names by the door then didn’t go at the back anymore to fall in line but instead went inside the room right away and the people/teachers inside didn’t notice. The “ka-kilala system” was also annoying but when they heard people at the back complaining about it, they at last went at the back of the line.) Also, the first few people who were able to vote already said that there was a time that the pcos machine didn’t work that took them longer inside.

It makes me sad reading few comments that they are having disinterest to vote, not just today but in the future elections as well. It is because for me, since it is the first automated election, there are really a number of glitches than can be encountered, but this should not stop us from being an active part of our country by exercising our right to vote for our leaders.

In general, my first automated election experience was really something worth learning from and a mixture of annoyance and joy from all the incidents that I encountered. I’m looking forward for the next election, automated or manual. But I still hope for a better automated election in the future because manual election is so passé.

(NOTE: My “information” at the voters registration list was page 6 number 71).. =)

"I don't know how to let you through"

That line broke my heart.. I thought I know you well, but I guess I'm wrong. The time you were so sad, I wasn't able to make you feel better. I'm such a useless person who can do nothing but be there.. I think you need more than me just being there, and i'm so sorry that I can't at this time do more than that.

I think it was a just a sudden breaking down.. Just to let go of the too heavy feeling.. I'm ok now.. kaya ko 'to!

Tomorrow will be a different day. I hope tomorrow, I find a way to get through you, one step at a time.. NO MATTER WHAT.. I will never give up.

The Backstreet Boys Concert

Last night was a blast!

It was my 2nd time to watch a Backstreet Boys concert. The first one was last 2007. It was great too but our seats were a bit far from the stage. Then last night, our seat was at the patron P1 and P2 to be exact. It is by the aisle and the view was great! =)

Although at first i was a bit annoyed when people started standing on their chairs.. Since I'm, oh well.. cute.. hehe.. Even I stood also on my chair, I still can't see bsb well.. But the security did well with their job of keeping the crowd organized that we all got a good view and enjoyed the concert so much!

It was another experience that I will surely treasure. My friend would say to me "I told you so" cause at first I wasn't really up to paying so much cause of my other concerns, but hey, every part of it was worth it. They sang some of their old famous songs that never fail to make me so in love. They also sang some of their new songs that made them different from before, but it was a good different thing. Their music matured with them and they get to go with the flow of the music industry but still keeping who they are. My favorites are As Long as You Love Me, All I Have to Give for their old hits and I like singing along with Bye Bye Love. I hope they sang Helpless but Pitbull must be there too.. hehe. Their "movie previews" were entertaining.. I like that of Brian's.. hehe.. =)

They asked if we will still be there the next time they go here to have another concert. I said to myself, I will save up for it this early so that next time we can get the VIP ticket. =)

The Start of Year 2010

The start of 2010 was not the best for me...

I get into petty fights that I manage to magnify. I even came into a realization that the thing I do best is hurt the ones who love me.

I keep asking myself one question.. Where do I really belong? It is so hard having to be "nakikitira".. But I still somehow feel their need for me.. Or it's just me?

Things are ok now.. We all got things over during a KFC snack.. I hope for things to be better.. I have to make myself better. I need help though.. I always say "I'm ok", "Kaya ko 'to".. but if you really know me.. You can say I'm a liar.. So, I need your help..

Pahabol Birthday Surprises.. =)

When I thought I've got more than enough surprises already, i thought wrong!

Last NOv. 26, Thursday, I went to AdMU to meet up with one of my best frends.. I know she got something for me, but I didn't expect that she got a lot for me.. =)

When Cal and I met at the black benches (where she always hit her elbow when she moves to get something or whatnot.. hehe.. =p), we chatted first for awhile on how our day was. Then she gave me her first surprise, she got me (or us, coz she has the same one of it) this cute cellphone holder. It's pink (as usual.. hehe) cute pig.. hehe.. kamuhka ko! =))

And when I thought that the mosaic Cal did for me was just the one she sent to my mail on my birthday itself, it wasn't. That was her next surprise! =D She made a compilation of mosaic of me, it was so cool! I super wanted to have a mosaic of me, and now I just didn't get one, I have 7! =D

And the 3rd one! A whole New York Cheesecake from Sweet Inspirations! Yumyum! hehe.. =) We were supposed to eat it there but I was "selfish" I wanted to bring it home whole. And as I write this, what is left is less than 1/4.. haha! =D

I stayed with her to watch their video she directed for their Lit Night. It was a cool and very entertaining video. It was a breath of fresh air from the series of reading and singing. Congrats block B! =)

Thanks Cal for all the surprises! I really appreciate them all! =D

My 3rd Decade on Earth

I just turned 30.

Before this day came, I visited my mom last Nov. 15. I didn't expect that I'd be crying really hard. I miss her so much, especially that my birthday was about to come. It was her who always made my birthday really special. I miss her hug and kiss and singing of happy birthday near my ear with a very soft voice. Then she cooks us her spaghetti that 2 kilos of it don't fit for us 3 siblings. We didn't grow up getting gifts for our birthday or even new stuff for Christmas. But mama cooking what we like was more than enough to make things really special. But while "talking" to her, it just dawned on me that my 30th birthday would still be special. I guess she whispered to me that and then I started to stop crying. And with that thought in mind, I managed to put a smile on my face as I left her.

Here comes November 23, 2009...

12:00 am - Kitty greeted me, gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek and forehead. =)
12:02 am - Ate greeted me and sent me her 2-page birthday letter. =) she got jealous of Kitty cause she saw us through webcam.. hehe.. =p
12:05 am - I read Cal's birthday text and got her birthday gift from my e-mail. It was a mosaic of my selected vain pictures and she made my name with them in purple color amidst the pink background. I found it so cool and really like it a lot. =D

I was doing something that early morning that I finished around 2:30 and finally went to sleep.

Preparing for work...

The funniest greeting ever! Mommy goose was still so sleepy when she passed by me while I was putting on my make-up. She was standing by the door of the bathroom when I returned the dipper inside. Then, she all of sudden got startled and with wide eyes greeted me happy birthday! We were both laughing so hard cause it's like she all of a sudden got wide awake after remembering and greeting me. =) As an additional to her super advanced birthday gift (a pink and white UCB wallet), she gave me a set of stickers and a little pink Sto. Nino. =)

Before going to work, grandma gave me Birthday money as a gift.. =)

While in the cab on my way to work, kuya called and greeted me.. =)

School...

1. Students who saw me and knew it was my birthday greeted me as I passed by.

2. I stayed at the lab as I always do. Anton was the first to visit me but it was funny that he just told me some funny stories and not greet me.. haha! Kinalimutan ako ng anak ko! He left after telling me his stories and said that he might visit me again. =p

3. MK was my next visitor. She greeted me and gave me a letter and oreo cheesecake that she personally made. It was good and would've been better if it had less oreo, but I super appreciated it. =)

4. Then the person I was waiting for came (so slow kasi eh.. hahaha!). At first I didn't even understand if ate wanted me to go out or not. So I just stayed inside the lab. Then before she entered the lab, she asked me what I should remember about her gift to me and I said "looks can be deceiving." She then gave her gift in a big but kinda light box. She explained that she had to put some stuff so what's inside won't make a sound but it didn't quite work. Anton came back and I then decided to open the gift after ate said that I can open it already. I got my VOLLEYBALL! =D It is the one I have always been looking at Ralph's Sports everytime I pass by there every morning going to work. I hugged the ball after getting it out of the box.. =)

5. After the assembly and us teachers went back in the faculty room, most of them greeted me. Mrs. Sagadal gave me 1/4 slice of buco pie. It was so good cause it is so generous of buko and the crust was so tasty.

6. After printing what Mr. Alanano asked me to, I delivered it to him in his class at 4-A. They all greeted then sang happy birthday 2x, slow and fast version.. hehe.. =p

7. THE MOST UNEXPECTED.. I saw Mrs. Duran enter the gate as I was about to leave the school going to Kennedy vacant lot for my usual Monday monitoring of the Tissue Culture Grow-out Shed. I approached her and told her that I'm about to go at Kennedy. Then I said "Ma'am batiin mo naman ako", she replied "Oo alam ko, nakakainis ka naman, pinangungunahan mo ako. Sandali lang!". She was getting something from her bag while she were saying those things to me. I was just smiling and said sorry after what she said. Then she handed me a tiny pink bag with pearl earrings inside. She then said "Happy birthday! That's for you for being such a good person and a good teacher". Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek. I was so touched and for a second found myself speechless. I said thank you and smiled at her as I again told her that I'd go to Kennedy first. She said to replace the earings I was currently wearing before I finally left for Kennedy. When I went to her in her office to report back about Kennedy, we were able to continue our conversation. I told her about my visit to my mom and how much I miss my mom. I also explained why I told her to greet me cause I thought she forgot cause during the faculty meeting, she didn't pay attention when Mrs. Sagadal and Mr. Aquino were loudly saying it'll be my birthday the coming Monday. She was focused with Mr. Tabada who'll be turning 50. She said she knew about it that's why she had to make up for it and thought about me while she was shopping for pasalubong for her siblings. I again thanked her so much for I didn't really expect it.

8. When I went to 4-B to call for the dancers for their blocking rehearsal for the dance exhibition, they all sang happily. Kayne looked so cute while singing.. I can't describe exactly what he was doing while singing cause the rest of his classmates were just clapping their hands above their head while singing but his was different.. hehe.. =p

The day went by like the usual. I looked after the dance/blocking rehearsal of the tigers from 10:10- 11:40am. Had lunch with ate, anton and aj. Then I cleaned the wash area of the lab, washed 3 trays of culture bottles and laundried towels and rags. Saw jane by the corridor on my way back to the lab from the faculty room. She handed me a big card from 4-A who were my former "anakis". =)

After work...

I met with Kitty at Watson's in Vmall after I brought my shoes at Mr. Quicky for repair. We walked in Anapolis going to the MRT station. When we reached Shang, she made me go first at Shabu-shabu while she buy something at National Bookstore. I told her that I'll hit her in the head if she gives me the book "The Shack" as her birthday gift. When she finally got in Shabu-shabu, she sat across me not like the usual that she sits beside me. Then after we placed our orders, she asked me if she should give her gift already. Then she explained that her plan didn't push through. She said that she was supposed to get me "The Shack" as a decoy gift for it will carry inside her real gift. But since the book was out of stock, she just handed to me a short white envelope with someting inside. I was trying to see through the envelope but she insisted that I open it already. I don't know if Kitty noticed how wide my smile was when I saw that it was a gift certificate at Welsha Spa. She explained that at first she planned to just bring me there but she wanted to give me something on my birthday so she got me a gc.. =D .. She asked if I'm happy with her gift and with a wide smile, I nodded. She said she wasn't convinced cause I wasn't jumping up and down. But of course she was just kidding. I told her that it has been in my wishlist since my 29th birthday, and at last now. . hehe.. =) We plan to use it up during the Christmas break.. =)

When we got home, I opened neo and saw a lot of greetings in my fb wall. I planned to write my blog after reading the greetings but I was so sleepy already that I keep on falling asleep in front of neo. So around 11pm, I finally gave up the idea of writing my blog and instead just went to sleep.

Oh, I almost forgot those who greeted me thru text - Ms. Soqueno, Paul, Ms. Milante. Mrs. Dotimas and Mr. Inigo called me in my opis to greet me. =)

My 30th birthday has it's ups and a couple of downs but hey, it was a good day for me. Thank you to everyone who really made my day so special. *hug*

Thank you God for this gift of life that you gave me. Thank you for the 3 wonderful and very challenging decades and hopefully another 3 more decades to come of service to you.

No Right!

So I have NO right to just play and rest! When the househelp is not here, I'm the one who should take her place! BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna go home.. to my real home.. where I'm treated well and given the respect I think I truly deserve.

I wanna cry.. but even that I can't do cause it may mean showing weakness on my part. But the truth is I'm just really hurt.. so much! I can't even believe I have lasted this long being treated like this by this one person! And who does she think she is?! The boss of all the bosses?!

I'll be most glad to come back to my real home once my brother and I have finalized things up. I used to think so much of this foster family I have been with for years. Considering their situation is what make me hold on and not leave. I still owe them a lot and I will always be indebted on how they have welcomed me in their house. But I think things change and people show their real color when all I was and still is the same person the first time I stepped into this place. I just wanna think that things without me in this place will be better since they will be able to find someone they can boss around to do things here. Or they will be more independent enough to do things by themselves. I have humiliated myself and made myself feel so inferior of them when I know to myself I'm not like what they or particularly HER think I am.

I think it is not too late to regain my self confidence and my self respect the soonest I can get out of here! And when that time comes, all I wish for this family is the best of life has to offer for them.

Things aren't getting any better

Things aren't getting any better...

1. Ondoy did a lot of negative things to our country. Not only that he destroyed a lot of properties and took hundreds of lives. He also caused trauma to those who experienced devastating things cause of the floods and also disturbed classes in all levels in NCR and Region IV.

2. And while we haven't really moved on and picked up the pieces of what Ondoy did to us, Pepeng is up and running about being what they say is a super typhoon.

3. I have made her sad once when I got stranded. And while she isn't over it yet, "oops, I did it again".. I didn't hear from her for 56 hours and when we finally got to communicate again, I broke her heart again. Now, I can't again contact her. She must have been really mad at me right now. And all I can say is sorry.. I really am.

4. And the thing that she got mad at me about.. Oh well, I think it will never be a cause of our tampuhan or whatnot. Things aren't getting any better. I will never step foot there again.

5. Tatay.. he is battling with this curable illness PTB. He is in the starting stage wherein he was just been diagnosed with this for week. It's not really the illness that we are worried about, but his disposition in life. He used to be really a physically strong person. And now with PTB, he easily gets tired and he gets frustrated by it.

6. Work.. adjustments of schedule.. making us watch something that we didn't super willingly like.. rebuilding what was lost in the TC lab.. Never ending cleaning of the lab, but it never will be totally cleaned cause of the back area full of mickeys and roachies.. I can go on about this but I think in one way or another, these things will have solutions... eventually.

hay.. *sigh*

But even with all these not so good things.. I keep in mind and heart that things are going to get better... SOON!

NBA Asia Challenge.. A Fun Night! =)

I love volleyball more than basketball.. I got torned between an invitation of a friend to watch NBA Asia Challenge (her treat!) and to play volleyball with my previous students. Well, from my title, you know which I chose and I didn't regret it. Like what my friend said "it's not always that you'll get to watch NBA legends play against our own PBA legends, plus you'll see Alvin Patrimonio! "(he is my ONLY crush in PBA.. haha!)

So, after work last Friday, September 11.. I headed off to Gateway to meet Kitty. We met at Taco Bell and had dinner. I really got full with the belly heavy burito that I ordered.

Then we went to Araneta Coliseum.. By the main entrance, we saw the Gatorade Challenge. They give out free taste of Gatorade lime and you can fall in line to shoot some hoops and get some freebies depending on the score you'll get. Kitty and I went in line and waited for our turn. While waiting...

• We asked what are the prizes for every range of scores. Kitty wanted the towel so she's aiming to get 61 points. I wanted the bag so I need to score 50 points.
• I went to the baggage counter to leave my umbrella cause I need to even though I don't want to. The guy kinda annoyed me cause he was taking so long trying to figure out how he'll stick the masking tape on my umbrella that won't confuse him of the number.. For Pete's sake! The number I got was 69! I told him that no matter how he sticks it, it will still be 69!
• Going back to my line, Kitty and I just keep on counting the people ahead of us just to make sure that we won't be late for our game

It's our turn! I went first and sadly just scored 45 points, but yey I got a bandana.. hehe..=p .. Kitty's turn! She got 75 points and went to a 2nd round. Her final score was 121! (I forgot to take pictures of her while shooting.. sorry.. hehe..=p) ..She got a tumbler! Comments we've heard while we were shooting..

• For me.. The pectus of my ball is makulit.. it's side turn. (Dude I'm a volleyball player, shooting a basketball is just a kulit game for me.. hehe)
• For Kitty.. "ang galing, basketball player yata 'to eh" .. "tama ba yung score nya?!" (her score then was 99!)

We got our picture taken after the game and then time to go inside!

We got Upper A tickets seats E 309 1 and 2.. We had a nice spot!

We spotted right away Alvin Patrimonio during their warm up. Then I was surprised to see 2 of my 2nd batch anakis, Karl and Carlo!

Kitty and I took pictures of the players and had some vain shots of ourselves.. Kitty can't believe how big Horry is as well as Divac.. And I think Hardaway is familiar, but I can't really recall.. And the game starts..=p

Our team was on fire with Allan Caidic scoring triple-3 and even more! We led the 1st quarter 26-25..=p But as the game continued.. and ended.. NBA won over the PBA 109-86. It was a fun game and we didn't realy care who wins but just really enjoyed watching them.

In between the game was a TVbreak and the New Jersey Nets dancers graced the court with their moves and other tactics.. The fox was so cute too! (the mascot.. hehe..=p) I was owed with their dunk segment and liked their final dance to the song single ladies especially when the fox joined them.. hehe..=)

We didn't go right away after the game and just wathched the happenings on the court. Kitty wanted to take a picture of the empty Araneta but wasn't able to cause there were still some peolpe inside before we left.

We checked the souvenir stall and wanted to buy a shirt, but there's no size small anymore on the design we liked.

I got my umbrella and the guy who handed it to me kinda annoyed me cause he doesn't wanna let go of my umbrella. hmp!

Going home, I told Kitty that we just take a cab.. But she wanted to take the MRT.. It was already past 1o.. But then she was so convincing so I said yes. When we got to the station, the other side already had 8 trains when our train came but we weren't able to go in cause it was really full already. When one of the passengers asked what time the next and last train will come, the driver said after 30 minutes! Oh well, I blamed Kitty that we got stuck there. We just then bonded and made kulit with each other. Shared some laugh and serious talk once in awhile. Then when the train is nearing, i told her to stay near me so we can squeeze in. When we finally got in and I got home, I said to myself, I had a fun night! =)

I Lost My Phone

It's not the first time I lost my phone, and I bet those who have lost their phones many times than I (it's my 2nd time btw) will just give me a cold shoulder about this. Nevertheless let me tell you my 2 stories..

October 2001 - The first time I lost my first phone ever (Nokia 3310) was when I was on my way home from work. I placed it on my pocket but the phone chain is out of my pocket. Upon riding the bus going south (I go down in Guadalupe), there were some people going against my direction. While in a jeepney, when i felt my pocket and didn't notice my phone there, I just thought my phone is in my bag. When I got home and looked at my bag, my phone wasn't there. So I started to panic. I brought out all the things in my bag and searched every pocket it has, but none. My brother called it and a male voice answered. He said I can get back my phone if I meet with him by myself and pay him P2,000. Since that time I didn't have that amount of money and it seems so dangerous to meet up with that person who answered my phone, I decided to just let it go. The only frustrating part there was I just finished paying for that phone cause I got it from my co-teacher for 8 gives or 4 months to pay basis.

August 4, 2009 - On my way to this place, I took a cab. When my friend asked for my phone cause she needs to text someone, i then started to look for my phone. Not in my pocket, not in my jacket's pocket, not in my bag. Therefore, gone. My theory is I dropped it upon going down the cab cause I remember putting it on my lap, where my jacket is covering my legs, while i was preparing for the taxi fair. And since the floor of the cab is like rubberized, I didn't hear anything when I was going down. My friend really went through all my things in my bag, asked me if I got the plate number of the cab, and lectured me to next time check the cab if I dropped or left something inside before I close the door of the cab. Now, the frustrating and sad part.. My sweet pink samsung phone has a very high sentimental value. I first saw that phone was October 2007 ,and from there I adore it from the window and looking forward to December to buy it. First week of December, my mom was diagnosed to have lymphoma - cancer of the lymph nodes. Even before I can tell her that instead of buying my phone, we'd use the money for her treatment, she talked to me and said that I have to buy my phone, if not, she'll get mad at me. So even if I was having second thoughts of buying it, I still did cause that's what my mom wants. When I finally got it, the first thing I did was call her cause that time she was in Batangas. Then I set the welcome note, it says "This is for my mama". My mom went to heaven 22nd of December 2007. So that sweet pink samsung phone of mine was a remembrance of my mom among many other things. That's why I got really sad when it got lost. I told a friend that of course you'd still see me smile, hear my laugh, but i wouldn't get over of losing my sweet pink samsung phone.

Decisions... Choices..

Decisions are needed to be made and usually there are choices that go with it.

Lately I've been putting a lot of people down including myself.

I said no to an invitation to go to a friend's house..

I made the one person always there for me feel worthless cause I tried to hold back and not show how I really feel..

I'm at the point of giving up one of my best friends..

I feel like I am not giving my best in everything I do.. I haven't submitted my inventory report and lesson plan.. I'm missing the 2 CDs given by our Tissue Culture consultant.. I have piles of unchecked submitted homeworks and seatworks.. I have 4 recommendation forms that are unaccomplished.. I have not filled up the PEF folders of 13 GSP students in my 2 classes.. And I dunno what other things I need to accomplish.. *sigh*

Going back to my title.. decisions.. choices..

I'm thinking of going back home.. to the place where I am respected and loved.. I'm on the fast forward phase of losing my self esteem to where I'm currently staying. I know I have a lot of things to consider, people to keep in mind. I'm aware too of the pros and cons once I make my decision. At the moment, I'm still really undecided. I'm still looking and hoping for the brighter side of things, but I know I need to decide soon.. make my choice.. maybe another week.. Then I'll asses the situation and make my decision.

So for now.. I'll think.. wait.. hope.

I was sent home

I was already happy when I got pass through the temperature checkpoint in school. I don't have fever and they didn't ask if I have cough or colds. So when the person who checked nodded for me to go in, I smiled at her.

But when I went to the Personnel's office to have my off-campus signed, the lady who is to sign my form asked me something. She got surprised with my voice and asked me to go to the clinic. And the rest was history.. hahaha!

I don't really want to miss work cause I have tons of things to do. I brought home some of them so I wouldn't miss much.. But I'm more worried about my classes.. *sigh*

I got to chat with one of my college friends and he reminded me that "tao ka!" when I told him that I want to go to work. He himself just got well from flu and was absent from work for 5 days. He asked me if I'm taking vitamins and I said I'm lazy to drink med in general and his one word reaction.. "LOKA!" We ended our chat hoping that we'd soon see each other together with our other batchmates.

So how did I rest today? I finished in less than an hour my latest 204-piece puzzle. I hope to have it framed soon!.. Surf the net.. Eat dalandan and macaroni salad given by mk.. Listen to music.. Chat.. Text.. and sleep.

Tomorrow will be another day of boredom.. but I have my work to keep me company.. a call, text and other means for you to contact me will be really appreciated.

Rain

My friend and I were talking last night about the rain.. how it makes her sad and alone and lonely.. how it makes me feel so many kinds of emotion depending on my mood.

But right now, I blame the rain why I'm not feeling well.. =(

Anyway, going back to our conversation. When my friend again asked what is my perfect rain scene.. here's my reply..

I'm in a cabin and there's a hammock by the porch where I'm seated.. rain is falling to the sea.. wind is blowing my hair.. but I forgot to mention to her that with me in the hammock is my special someone.. We are hugging and just talking about anything. (It's not that obvious that I'm a hopeless romantic.. hehe..=p )

Rain...

Taking a Break

I've been working for almost a decade already and I've always enjoyed my work.

But this summer was different from all my summers in terms of work. I've never been this tired.

I'm currently taking a break from my usual "Summer Work" and is currently busy doing an academic task. But now I feel so tired too. I've been doing almost the same thing at the beginning of school year. But today, it seems so hard for me to finish what I need to when before I can finish it in less than let's say 3 hours at the most.

Then why now it all seems difficult?

Answers:
1. My Kuya and my best friend said it is cause I have this huge distraction which is the net. (my defense: I was already in the mood to finish it ASAP but when I read my previous entry and there was a part that my mom was mentioned, I all of a sudden lost my zest cause I miss her so much.. more and more each day. So to keep my mind clear, I went online and plurked about happy stuff)

2. I'm just simply tired. I've given so much of my time and myself at work. Now, I feel like my body is giving up on me, if not my body, my brain.. it is slowly shutting down. (I hope though that this will just be a today thing cause I can't afford to be like this when classes starts already)

3. I miss a lot of people.

4. I just simply need a break.

Wrong send...

It's not really our intention that at times we get to send a message to someone else. Then we send another message saying sorry for the wrong send message. In my case, it happened 3 times to the same person and the message is something that this person gets annoyed? or jealous? or I don't know.. hay...*sigh*

I don't want to promise that this won't happen again. But I'll do my best to be more careful next time.