So long 2011, Hello 2012! =D

2011..

A year that was. I can say that year 2011 was a great year with great friends!

Like any other year, it was full of challenges, ups and downs. And like any other year, we all made it through those storms. God is really great for orchestrating everything that I'm awed at how He does it.

2012..

A new year! And I look forward to what this year has in store for me and everyone else who are special to me.

I'm not praying for a problem-free year because I know that's not how things are. I pray for a courageous heart to bear everything that will come, happy or sad, positive or negative, light or heavy.

And to everyone who has made my 2011 very special, I know in me that a greater 2012 is ahead of us. With you guys, things ar just piece of cake!

Thank you very much dear Lord for everything you bestow upon us. Thank you for always watching over us and bringing out the best in us for your greater glory! =D

Just a Few New Things About Me.. =D

It has been a long time since I last blogged. A lot of things happened, both happy and not so happy. But to sum it all up, life has been so kind to me, God has and always has been so generous to me.

It was for some years that I was neutral in a sense that I don't really belong to a group. I'm like a floating member of the faculty. But this school year is different. I'm part of the good group so to speak. And I'm glad to be a part of it. We are awesome as individuals, moreso when we are together. Our bonding is usually over coffee or lunch or dinner; in short FOOD! We don't talk about other people, we talk about our lives, our wishes, our plans for more bonding time during breaks. But since our common ground is work, we sometimes talk about our ups and downs, our ideas of what is happening around. But most of all, we affirm each others good qualities, we uplift each other when we are down and we stand by each of us. Thank you God for Roanne, Fransly, Rheema, Via, Mommy 12, Mau. You guys are really great friends!

This 2nd sem of SY 2011-2o12, I'm back to school, as a student. It has been 11 years since I last attended school, and I was so excited when I got accepted at the Ateneo de Manila University. I'm enrolled as a post grad student of MS Science Education major in Biology. Although the subjects I'm taking now are supposed to be the last ones I should've enrolled at, I don't mind at all. Because all I want is to go back to school. It's not easy because I'm still a full-time teacher, but I'm up for the challenge. My first "test" as a student was to give a report about Correlational Research with my partner Grace Yn. And I think we did well. The next one was our first long test in stat. I was confident of most of my answers except 1 item worth 20 points. But when my paper was returned, I lost 22 points because of carelessness. I could've gotten A- but instead ended up getting a B. But I definitely learned my lesson which ironically I also keep reminding my students about, be careful! Harder challenges are on their way as we are expected to write a micro-research paper for our Methods and Materials for Reseach. And writing a research paper, no matter how micro that would be is my waterloo. I hope that after this subject, things go around that I would appreciate research writing and be better at it. As for stat, I will definitely do better next time as I keep in mind to be more careful when answering the exam questions.

Here at home, we have a new member to grace our family, Dennise Luela Gabrielle P. Llanto; Gab for short. (I actually pity her when she starts schooling cause she has a very long name to write on her paper. I hope though that it fits in one line.. -.-) She's a very adorable baby girl for her unceasing laughter and cute tactics. It's so nice seeing her wake up and smile at you. It so cute making her sleep. It's so great talking to her and eventhough I know she doesn't understand everything I tell her, she never fails to respond with a smile or a giggle. I pray that she grows into a beautiful lady inside and out.

I think I have written a lot already although I know there are still more that I can write about. So, that's it for now.

PS. I miss my bird family in Pasig. Also, I miss you B!

Just going to blab.. =)

It was a long time since my last blog.. so I'm just going to blab.. haha! =)

At first I thought of writing about my year 2010.. but i'll just reserve that on the 31st.. =)

I woke up early today (7:45am) despite sleeping at around 3 am.. hehe.. I think my body is just used to the 4 hour sleep.. I wanted to go back to sleep but I feel so awake already.

Kitty called and invited me to a lunch at Lutong Macau.. Got excited about it.. both the bonding with Pasig Family and the place where we are going to eat. I've heard a lot of good stuff about Lutong Macau and I look forward to a great lunch there. =)

I've been home alone since the night of Dec. 22.. And it doesn't feel nice at all.. Here's my day-to-day account of my being "home-alone"

Dec. 22. -- It was mama's 3rd birthday in heaven. We went to Batangas with Tita Merlie and Aikit.. But needed to leave around 12:30 because Aikit still has a party to attend to at 4pm.. Kuya and I went down in Filmore with the intention to eat in Amber's after we withdraw from BPI. But since Amber's is so full that you have to wait for 1 1/2 hour, we decided to just go in Cash and Carry and see where we can eat. He chose Savory because he's been craving for lumpiang shanghai. We went home after eating and watched Alice in Wonderland. When the movie is over, he left already. When I was alone, I heated our leftover for dinner, packed my things for a sleepover for the following day, just enjoyed the time with pwinkee and dozzed off early.

Dec. 23 -- I woke up a bit a late and then started to prepare going to Pasig. I got there around 12:00 noon, just in time for lunch. Kitty and I went to Shang and Megamall hoping to buy her pump as my Christmas gift for her, but we found none.. =( .. We had late merienda/early dinner at Pizza Hut and had cheese-oveload.. haha! We went home around 6pm, took a bath and prepared for bed. We were supposed to watch the replay of the Spurs game that day but I fell asleep during the 2nd quarter.

Dec.24 -- woke up at 4:20 for the 5pm dawn mass and breakfast at the garden for Ms. Ona's birthday. After breakfast, we went back in the room for another Spurs game. But before the game we did some picture taking and shirt measuring. Had lunch after the game and then watched Lea Salonga's Your Song Concert on DVD. Then I prepared for home. Alone again.. I was in the mood to do general cleaning of the room.. Called McDonald's for a delivery.. Felt so refreshed after taking a bath. Had spag, chicken, nuggets and left over pizza for my early Christmas Eve dinner. Slept at around 11pm.

Dec 25 -- cleaned the house some more.. took a bath and off to Megamall for the Christmas Day mass.. I dropped by Kitty's place for her chicos and Juliane's gift for me. I was able to catch the 12:30pm mass. Ate t-bone steak at Sizzling Plate, went to subway for a take out (that's my dinner).. Got to buy a nice pair of gray sandals from Gibi.. it's on sale and it has 4-inch heels! Haha!

Dec. 26 -- I got a visit from my godson Shaun with his mom Ate Ge. Fixed and counted the laundry. Had brunch at Ka Anong's atbp. Found a laundry place and asked some stuff. Prepared for church but brought the laundry first before going to Megamall. I met up with Kitty at Dulcinea and headed at the Chapel of the Eucharistic Lord for the 2pm Sunday mass. Al saw me in church and said hi to each other. Kitty needed her 30 minutes time with the Lord after church so I went to Alexis to see if they have a link already for my Fossil watch, but none.. Kitty and I looked for her pump. Saw one at Concorde but she's still thinking about it. Just commuted going home, stopped by Akik to buy pancit but I also ended up eating longsilog while waiting for my pancit canton. Walked few blocks for my BBQ, then walked one block at tita's school supply and bought illustration board and pink cartolina, took pedicab going home. I got so excited about my puzzle so I started doing it. Didn't feel like eating dinner so i just placed my pancit canton and BBQ in the fridge for breakfast. I finished my puzzle around 12 midnight.

Dec 27 -- I just stayed at home. Cleaned the room. I FOUND THE LINK TO MY FOSSIL WATCH!!! =D .. ate the pancil canton and bbq for breakfast.. enjoyed time with pwinkee.. afternoon nap.. bath.. bought food for dinner.. got so hooked up decorating Pinkee's tent and Carriage Room in Pet Society.. Had a good and honest chat with ate from 11:30pm - 3am.

Now.. how do I feel? I feel so ALONE.. duh! But honestly, I didn't like the feeling of having the house to myself for a long time. Although we don't really get to talk that much here at home but their mere presence is something that I miss.. The moments we get to chat of what happened during the day, the kulit with japs of how tababoy we are.. The mutual agreement to buy ice cream or just anything we can munch on. Hay.. I look forward to their going home today.

And maybe to sum things up.. It feels so lonely spending Christmas by myself.

MY UNFORGETTABLE MRT RIDE

Today, I had the most terrible MRT ride to and from work.

I arrived around 7:15am at Guadalupe station going to Santolan/Annapolis Station. I let the first train pass because it was already full. I was in front of everybody while waiting for the next train. When the next train came, I intended not to go inside at once since there are some passengers about to go down. But me, without exerting a bit of my own energy, was pushed inside the train all unprepared and shocked for what happened. I ended up hugging my things to my stomach area as people keep pushing in all directions. The very uncomfortable position, congested train and different scent of people inside gave me a sick-throwing up feeling. When i got to get out of the train, I felt so dizzy and stressed for i only have few minutes left not to be late for work. For a more comfortable and fast transport, I took the cab and made it 3 minutes before my official time. I felt better after telling my co-workers of what I've experienced and less stressed since I was able to make it anyway. Lesson learned from that experience is not to take the train anymore when it is past 7am.

Going home is another different story.

All the while I thought that being a bit late and letting the rush hour pass will allow me to have a better MRT ride. But I think today, I was wrong. I arrived at Santolan/Annapolis station around 6pm. There were at first just a few passengers waiting. But when the train was taking so long to arrive, the number of people keep on increasing. I was like 2nd in the line of people waiting for the train. First train arrived, it was so full that only around 5 people were able to enter. I was in front of the line. Second train arrived, still full yet the people on my side rushed in and I was pushed aside since I managed to keep still. I surprisingly ended up again on the 2nd line. Third train, has some space but I don't know how people from my side just slide past me. I didn't bother to move from where i was standing. I was in front when the lady trying to make herself fit inside the train decided to go out and took my front spot. It was fine by me except that she keeps wagging her pony-tailed hair as she looks from side to side hitting me on my face. To my annoyance, I told her "miss yung buhok mo naman!". Fourth train came, I'm happy that it has more space now so most of the people were able to go inside including myself. There's even enough space for me to hold on to my cellphone and text until we arrived on the next station.

Ortigas Station.

There were a number of passengers waiting to go inside the train. When the train stopped and the the doors opened, people kept flooding in trapping inside the ones who need to go out. When people kept going inside despite being told that there are others who need to go out, and other people including me were getting really squished, I shouted at the top of my lungs "merong bababa, paraanin nyo ho!".. That was the only time people stopped going inside and gave way to the people going out.

Shaw to Boni Station.

People come and go and the those who are inside were still being squished, but people coming in gave way first to people going out. What annoyed me this time is the lady with a very long hair and didn't even think of tying it since she'll be riding a train. I somehow managed to move away from her back before I start to say something or pull a strand or two to make her realized her being insensitive.

Approaching Guadalupe station.

I was preparing myself to go down and feeling quite happy to be out of the very congested train when all of a sudden someone farted. Group of people who know each other exchanged words saying how lucky they are because they are to go down the train already. I felt that way too because it really smelled awful inside the train.

Guadalupe Station.

The line going out was long already even before we came so people from the train where I was in had to go all the way to the back of the line. Next train came and the line was still long. I saw one lady from the newly arrived train cutting the line but she's far from me so I can't do anything about it. But I felt so annoyed with what I saw and to the person who let it happen. Then, a guy was trying to go in front of me and I told him in my mataray voice "dun ka sa likod pumila!" And I guess with what I said, he really went at the back since I still saw him still in line when I was able to go out already. I didn't mind him looking at me and I even raised my eyebrow when I looked back at him.

Well, that's how it was for me today and my MRT ride. I hope that that would be my worst MRT ride and that I'll be able to adjust so for me not to experience again what happened today. And one thing I can be sure of is that I won't forget my manners on being a good commuter.

Numb

NUMB..

I can't really explain how I feel with everything that has been happening. Just when I thought that things are going well, some more things happen to test my strength.

I may have smiled and laughed at a lot of things, but deep in me I'm just as broken as most of you are. I just want simple things in life but it seems like it is so hard to make things simple like how I wanted them to be.

But like the usual me, I never lose hope cause hope is all I have.

While I was on my work this morning, after I made the sign of the cross after passing in one of the 4 churches I pass by everyday, I just all of a sudden prayed and uttered to myself "all I want is for someone to take care of me, I'm tired na po." And after that I felt light.

People who really know me always tell me that I'm a person for others. Seldom do I consider myself in my decisions, I always think of what is best for the others. That I'm willing to sacrifice all i can just for others to have enough, for others to be happy, for others burden to be light, for others to be more comfortable, for others to be hopefully contented. Then those people who really know me keep on reminding me that I should also give something to myself. But the thing is, I'm happy being able to make others happy cause there are more happy people, not just me.

I think what I have written here is so far already from the title of this blog. I just got so random cause for now, these are my THOUGHTS AT THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT.

My First Automated Election Experience

I went to vote at Rafael Palma Elementary School with my kuya. We came there around 7:45 am. When we arrived, we checked at the board the room assignment of our precinct which we got online. We belong to precinct 3047-A Barangay 805 and assigned to room 308. When we got to the 3rd floor, there are already a number of people in line but the line was a bit confusing because of the two rooms catering to two barangays. When we found our room and saw the line, kuya and I went to the tail of it. While on line, we saw familiar faces and greeted them. What we have noticed though is the difference of the system the two rooms implement. Room 307 catering to barangay 804 was able to make people go inside faster than our line. We have noticed that they give out papers as numbers for people to go in. On our line, a female assistant writes the name, page number and the voter’s number on a pink piece of paper. While an old male person does the same for the male but he wrote the information on a blue paper. They count people 1-10 who as a “set” will go inside the classroom. My kuya had a short “heated discussion” with the old male teacher what the blue paper is for. Because for us, it is their responsibility to look for our names when we reach the room, once we have given them our information upon checking it from the list they posted by the door (page number and voter’s number). For kuya and I, the pink and blue papers are just wastes. Another incident, but this one we were able to tolerate, was letting old people, kinda weak senior citizens, to go first and vote ahead of those who came early and are patiently waiting in line for their turn to vote. But this other incident really made me annoyed and really had a word fight with one of the voters. He came in around past 9 am and there are a lot of people behind me already. He claims to be a poll watcher so the old male teacher helped him to cut the line. He was placed behind me. Since I can’t really tolarate this one, I told the person originally behind me that he is so kind for letting that poll watcher guy to go in front of him because he has a work to do for being a watcher. Then, the poll watcher guy with loud voice told the old male teacher at the back that I didn’t want him to go in front of the guy originally behind me. And so I talked to him in sharp (mataray) voice and said “kung alam mong may trabaho ka, dapat maaga ka nagpunta dito. Kanina pa nasa pila ang mga tao dito at hindi porke watcher ka, may karapatan kang sumigit!” He started bubbling things like who am I and who my parents are, but I didn’t anymore mind him and not cared of where he went or whatsoever. The guy originally behind me said thanks to me when I went inside the room already for my turn to vote. I smiled at him before I let myself be attended to. The lady teacher looked for me on the list then I signed. I got my ballot, went behind the room beside kuya and started shading the “bilog na hugis itlog” beside the names of the candidates I vote for. When I went to the pcos machine to feed my ballot, it took me 3 tries before the machine at last accepted my ballot. Then, I had my right pointing finger be applied with indelible ink (which I think is way better than the previous inks from the past elections cause its really super purple and I can’t take them off) and the black ink for my thumb mark to be placed beside my signature from the voters registration list where I started. And that’s it! Kuya and I got to home after 1 hour and 30 minutes in RPES.

Voting perse was easy and fast. What took us long was the unorganized line (cause there were a few who just pretended to look for their names by the door then didn’t go at the back anymore to fall in line but instead went inside the room right away and the people/teachers inside didn’t notice. The “ka-kilala system” was also annoying but when they heard people at the back complaining about it, they at last went at the back of the line.) Also, the first few people who were able to vote already said that there was a time that the pcos machine didn’t work that took them longer inside.

It makes me sad reading few comments that they are having disinterest to vote, not just today but in the future elections as well. It is because for me, since it is the first automated election, there are really a number of glitches than can be encountered, but this should not stop us from being an active part of our country by exercising our right to vote for our leaders.

In general, my first automated election experience was really something worth learning from and a mixture of annoyance and joy from all the incidents that I encountered. I’m looking forward for the next election, automated or manual. But I still hope for a better automated election in the future because manual election is so passé.

(NOTE: My “information” at the voters registration list was page 6 number 71).. =)

"I don't know how to let you through"

That line broke my heart.. I thought I know you well, but I guess I'm wrong. The time you were so sad, I wasn't able to make you feel better. I'm such a useless person who can do nothing but be there.. I think you need more than me just being there, and i'm so sorry that I can't at this time do more than that.

I think it was a just a sudden breaking down.. Just to let go of the too heavy feeling.. I'm ok now.. kaya ko 'to!

Tomorrow will be a different day. I hope tomorrow, I find a way to get through you, one step at a time.. NO MATTER WHAT.. I will never give up.