No Right!

So I have NO right to just play and rest! When the househelp is not here, I'm the one who should take her place! BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanna go home.. to my real home.. where I'm treated well and given the respect I think I truly deserve.

I wanna cry.. but even that I can't do cause it may mean showing weakness on my part. But the truth is I'm just really hurt.. so much! I can't even believe I have lasted this long being treated like this by this one person! And who does she think she is?! The boss of all the bosses?!

I'll be most glad to come back to my real home once my brother and I have finalized things up. I used to think so much of this foster family I have been with for years. Considering their situation is what make me hold on and not leave. I still owe them a lot and I will always be indebted on how they have welcomed me in their house. But I think things change and people show their real color when all I was and still is the same person the first time I stepped into this place. I just wanna think that things without me in this place will be better since they will be able to find someone they can boss around to do things here. Or they will be more independent enough to do things by themselves. I have humiliated myself and made myself feel so inferior of them when I know to myself I'm not like what they or particularly HER think I am.

I think it is not too late to regain my self confidence and my self respect the soonest I can get out of here! And when that time comes, all I wish for this family is the best of life has to offer for them.

Things aren't getting any better

Things aren't getting any better...

1. Ondoy did a lot of negative things to our country. Not only that he destroyed a lot of properties and took hundreds of lives. He also caused trauma to those who experienced devastating things cause of the floods and also disturbed classes in all levels in NCR and Region IV.

2. And while we haven't really moved on and picked up the pieces of what Ondoy did to us, Pepeng is up and running about being what they say is a super typhoon.

3. I have made her sad once when I got stranded. And while she isn't over it yet, "oops, I did it again".. I didn't hear from her for 56 hours and when we finally got to communicate again, I broke her heart again. Now, I can't again contact her. She must have been really mad at me right now. And all I can say is sorry.. I really am.

4. And the thing that she got mad at me about.. Oh well, I think it will never be a cause of our tampuhan or whatnot. Things aren't getting any better. I will never step foot there again.

5. Tatay.. he is battling with this curable illness PTB. He is in the starting stage wherein he was just been diagnosed with this for week. It's not really the illness that we are worried about, but his disposition in life. He used to be really a physically strong person. And now with PTB, he easily gets tired and he gets frustrated by it.

6. Work.. adjustments of schedule.. making us watch something that we didn't super willingly like.. rebuilding what was lost in the TC lab.. Never ending cleaning of the lab, but it never will be totally cleaned cause of the back area full of mickeys and roachies.. I can go on about this but I think in one way or another, these things will have solutions... eventually.

hay.. *sigh*

But even with all these not so good things.. I keep in mind and heart that things are going to get better... SOON!

NBA Asia Challenge.. A Fun Night! =)

I love volleyball more than basketball.. I got torned between an invitation of a friend to watch NBA Asia Challenge (her treat!) and to play volleyball with my previous students. Well, from my title, you know which I chose and I didn't regret it. Like what my friend said "it's not always that you'll get to watch NBA legends play against our own PBA legends, plus you'll see Alvin Patrimonio! "(he is my ONLY crush in PBA.. haha!)

So, after work last Friday, September 11.. I headed off to Gateway to meet Kitty. We met at Taco Bell and had dinner. I really got full with the belly heavy burito that I ordered.

Then we went to Araneta Coliseum.. By the main entrance, we saw the Gatorade Challenge. They give out free taste of Gatorade lime and you can fall in line to shoot some hoops and get some freebies depending on the score you'll get. Kitty and I went in line and waited for our turn. While waiting...

• We asked what are the prizes for every range of scores. Kitty wanted the towel so she's aiming to get 61 points. I wanted the bag so I need to score 50 points.
• I went to the baggage counter to leave my umbrella cause I need to even though I don't want to. The guy kinda annoyed me cause he was taking so long trying to figure out how he'll stick the masking tape on my umbrella that won't confuse him of the number.. For Pete's sake! The number I got was 69! I told him that no matter how he sticks it, it will still be 69!
• Going back to my line, Kitty and I just keep on counting the people ahead of us just to make sure that we won't be late for our game

It's our turn! I went first and sadly just scored 45 points, but yey I got a bandana.. hehe..=p .. Kitty's turn! She got 75 points and went to a 2nd round. Her final score was 121! (I forgot to take pictures of her while shooting.. sorry.. hehe..=p) ..She got a tumbler! Comments we've heard while we were shooting..

• For me.. The pectus of my ball is makulit.. it's side turn. (Dude I'm a volleyball player, shooting a basketball is just a kulit game for me.. hehe)
• For Kitty.. "ang galing, basketball player yata 'to eh" .. "tama ba yung score nya?!" (her score then was 99!)

We got our picture taken after the game and then time to go inside!

We got Upper A tickets seats E 309 1 and 2.. We had a nice spot!

We spotted right away Alvin Patrimonio during their warm up. Then I was surprised to see 2 of my 2nd batch anakis, Karl and Carlo!

Kitty and I took pictures of the players and had some vain shots of ourselves.. Kitty can't believe how big Horry is as well as Divac.. And I think Hardaway is familiar, but I can't really recall.. And the game starts..=p

Our team was on fire with Allan Caidic scoring triple-3 and even more! We led the 1st quarter 26-25..=p But as the game continued.. and ended.. NBA won over the PBA 109-86. It was a fun game and we didn't realy care who wins but just really enjoyed watching them.

In between the game was a TVbreak and the New Jersey Nets dancers graced the court with their moves and other tactics.. The fox was so cute too! (the mascot.. hehe..=p) I was owed with their dunk segment and liked their final dance to the song single ladies especially when the fox joined them.. hehe..=)

We didn't go right away after the game and just wathched the happenings on the court. Kitty wanted to take a picture of the empty Araneta but wasn't able to cause there were still some peolpe inside before we left.

We checked the souvenir stall and wanted to buy a shirt, but there's no size small anymore on the design we liked.

I got my umbrella and the guy who handed it to me kinda annoyed me cause he doesn't wanna let go of my umbrella. hmp!

Going home, I told Kitty that we just take a cab.. But she wanted to take the MRT.. It was already past 1o.. But then she was so convincing so I said yes. When we got to the station, the other side already had 8 trains when our train came but we weren't able to go in cause it was really full already. When one of the passengers asked what time the next and last train will come, the driver said after 30 minutes! Oh well, I blamed Kitty that we got stuck there. We just then bonded and made kulit with each other. Shared some laugh and serious talk once in awhile. Then when the train is nearing, i told her to stay near me so we can squeeze in. When we finally got in and I got home, I said to myself, I had a fun night! =)

I Lost My Phone

It's not the first time I lost my phone, and I bet those who have lost their phones many times than I (it's my 2nd time btw) will just give me a cold shoulder about this. Nevertheless let me tell you my 2 stories..

October 2001 - The first time I lost my first phone ever (Nokia 3310) was when I was on my way home from work. I placed it on my pocket but the phone chain is out of my pocket. Upon riding the bus going south (I go down in Guadalupe), there were some people going against my direction. While in a jeepney, when i felt my pocket and didn't notice my phone there, I just thought my phone is in my bag. When I got home and looked at my bag, my phone wasn't there. So I started to panic. I brought out all the things in my bag and searched every pocket it has, but none. My brother called it and a male voice answered. He said I can get back my phone if I meet with him by myself and pay him P2,000. Since that time I didn't have that amount of money and it seems so dangerous to meet up with that person who answered my phone, I decided to just let it go. The only frustrating part there was I just finished paying for that phone cause I got it from my co-teacher for 8 gives or 4 months to pay basis.

August 4, 2009 - On my way to this place, I took a cab. When my friend asked for my phone cause she needs to text someone, i then started to look for my phone. Not in my pocket, not in my jacket's pocket, not in my bag. Therefore, gone. My theory is I dropped it upon going down the cab cause I remember putting it on my lap, where my jacket is covering my legs, while i was preparing for the taxi fair. And since the floor of the cab is like rubberized, I didn't hear anything when I was going down. My friend really went through all my things in my bag, asked me if I got the plate number of the cab, and lectured me to next time check the cab if I dropped or left something inside before I close the door of the cab. Now, the frustrating and sad part.. My sweet pink samsung phone has a very high sentimental value. I first saw that phone was October 2007 ,and from there I adore it from the window and looking forward to December to buy it. First week of December, my mom was diagnosed to have lymphoma - cancer of the lymph nodes. Even before I can tell her that instead of buying my phone, we'd use the money for her treatment, she talked to me and said that I have to buy my phone, if not, she'll get mad at me. So even if I was having second thoughts of buying it, I still did cause that's what my mom wants. When I finally got it, the first thing I did was call her cause that time she was in Batangas. Then I set the welcome note, it says "This is for my mama". My mom went to heaven 22nd of December 2007. So that sweet pink samsung phone of mine was a remembrance of my mom among many other things. That's why I got really sad when it got lost. I told a friend that of course you'd still see me smile, hear my laugh, but i wouldn't get over of losing my sweet pink samsung phone.

Decisions... Choices..

Decisions are needed to be made and usually there are choices that go with it.

Lately I've been putting a lot of people down including myself.

I said no to an invitation to go to a friend's house..

I made the one person always there for me feel worthless cause I tried to hold back and not show how I really feel..

I'm at the point of giving up one of my best friends..

I feel like I am not giving my best in everything I do.. I haven't submitted my inventory report and lesson plan.. I'm missing the 2 CDs given by our Tissue Culture consultant.. I have piles of unchecked submitted homeworks and seatworks.. I have 4 recommendation forms that are unaccomplished.. I have not filled up the PEF folders of 13 GSP students in my 2 classes.. And I dunno what other things I need to accomplish.. *sigh*

Going back to my title.. decisions.. choices..

I'm thinking of going back home.. to the place where I am respected and loved.. I'm on the fast forward phase of losing my self esteem to where I'm currently staying. I know I have a lot of things to consider, people to keep in mind. I'm aware too of the pros and cons once I make my decision. At the moment, I'm still really undecided. I'm still looking and hoping for the brighter side of things, but I know I need to decide soon.. make my choice.. maybe another week.. Then I'll asses the situation and make my decision.

So for now.. I'll think.. wait.. hope.

I was sent home

I was already happy when I got pass through the temperature checkpoint in school. I don't have fever and they didn't ask if I have cough or colds. So when the person who checked nodded for me to go in, I smiled at her.

But when I went to the Personnel's office to have my off-campus signed, the lady who is to sign my form asked me something. She got surprised with my voice and asked me to go to the clinic. And the rest was history.. hahaha!

I don't really want to miss work cause I have tons of things to do. I brought home some of them so I wouldn't miss much.. But I'm more worried about my classes.. *sigh*

I got to chat with one of my college friends and he reminded me that "tao ka!" when I told him that I want to go to work. He himself just got well from flu and was absent from work for 5 days. He asked me if I'm taking vitamins and I said I'm lazy to drink med in general and his one word reaction.. "LOKA!" We ended our chat hoping that we'd soon see each other together with our other batchmates.

So how did I rest today? I finished in less than an hour my latest 204-piece puzzle. I hope to have it framed soon!.. Surf the net.. Eat dalandan and macaroni salad given by mk.. Listen to music.. Chat.. Text.. and sleep.

Tomorrow will be another day of boredom.. but I have my work to keep me company.. a call, text and other means for you to contact me will be really appreciated.

Rain

My friend and I were talking last night about the rain.. how it makes her sad and alone and lonely.. how it makes me feel so many kinds of emotion depending on my mood.

But right now, I blame the rain why I'm not feeling well.. =(

Anyway, going back to our conversation. When my friend again asked what is my perfect rain scene.. here's my reply..

I'm in a cabin and there's a hammock by the porch where I'm seated.. rain is falling to the sea.. wind is blowing my hair.. but I forgot to mention to her that with me in the hammock is my special someone.. We are hugging and just talking about anything. (It's not that obvious that I'm a hopeless romantic.. hehe..=p )

Rain...