Wondering...

I'm just wondering when I'll have an entry that will be like light or happy..

I'm not saying that I'm completely sad and low.. I can still manage to smile and laugh my heart out..BUT..

But I feel so confused.. uncertain.. hurt and other negative emotions I can no longer put into words.. I can't even put into details why I feel this way.. I do know why.. can't just put them into words.

Funny as it may seem.. I'm so "talkative".. I always have something to say.. but now.. I don't know.

I am wondering when I can finally figure things out.. I mean, have the proper words to explain why I feel those sad emotions..

One thing is certain.. I can't have everythng I want.. When I thought I'm holding on so strong.. the one I'm holding on to has a "feeling" of letting me go.. ='(