Hurting.. Again..

I'm so close to being with the one I love but things keep happening that do not let me go after it. You see, I'm a kind of person who as much as possible wants that everyone important to me are happy and are close by me.. meaning won't leave me. It used to be my mom.. that's why in my past relationship, I gave him up cause she said so. Now she's gone, she gave me 2 angels to watch over me. I'm so happy with my angels and they really do their "job" really well. But in the process I get hurt as much as I hurt them. I understand what they want for me.. I know too that they want me to be happy.. to be happy in the right way. And since I'm the one who is wrong, I can't really fight for what I want. I can't really fight for the one who makes me happy. I can't fight for my happiness.. cause the harder I try, the more I lose.

To my angels, I'm truly sorry and thanks for being there. To my happiness, I hope you find the one who deserves you more than I do.

As for me.. I'm hurting.. again. And I don't know until when.. but I think time will heal me. I'll be ok.. I need to be ok.. Just please don't give up on me.