And there comes the saddest word.. GOODBYE

I've been long struggling to be happy.. and everytime I'm near to having my happiness.. it just slips away.. I let it slip away.

And there comes the saddest word.. I never imagined it will be said.. but it was.. GOODBYE..

What is so good about it? What is so good of letting go when all it brings is pain? Why can't things be simple? Why does it seem like my happiness is so hard to reach?

I guess these questions will remain unanswered for a long time.. until I've healed.. healing takes time.. especially that with all these things that happened, the one i hurt the most is the one I love so much.. And I don't even know if that person has any idea how much this love is.

But then again.. it all goes down to this saddest word.. GOODBYE.. =((

Hurting.. Again..

I'm so close to being with the one I love but things keep happening that do not let me go after it. You see, I'm a kind of person who as much as possible wants that everyone important to me are happy and are close by me.. meaning won't leave me. It used to be my mom.. that's why in my past relationship, I gave him up cause she said so. Now she's gone, she gave me 2 angels to watch over me. I'm so happy with my angels and they really do their "job" really well. But in the process I get hurt as much as I hurt them. I understand what they want for me.. I know too that they want me to be happy.. to be happy in the right way. And since I'm the one who is wrong, I can't really fight for what I want. I can't really fight for the one who makes me happy. I can't fight for my happiness.. cause the harder I try, the more I lose.

To my angels, I'm truly sorry and thanks for being there. To my happiness, I hope you find the one who deserves you more than I do.

As for me.. I'm hurting.. again. And I don't know until when.. but I think time will heal me. I'll be ok.. I need to be ok.. Just please don't give up on me.

Outing in Fontana

It was fun going out and enjoying the summer. This opportunity to spend an out of town overnight at Fontana was made possible by Anjanette Tan and her family. There were 14 of us teachers and 2 students who came with us.

What made this outing memorable for me was the time of not sleeping. It's because I had a great conversation with Mr. Capistrano and Anj. Being a talkative person that I am, what's a bit surprising for me is that I'm the one who listened.. Just asked very few questions but not really talk and all to cut him out of what he is saying. It was also liberating to talk things out with him about some things he has in mind about me.. Anj and Sir Capis.. thanks for the wonderful time!

But of course, the outing wouldn't be really complete with all the fun we shared during the swimming and sliding and eating and singing.. =)

I'm hoping for more bonding activities with my co-teachers.. and with the Calatagan outing this May 18-19.. I can't wait to have a really good time.. =)