A Long Deserved Rest

Hi! It was kinda long time since I wrote down my thoughts. Didn't have means to do so.

I'm currently on sem-break but before that, I was in the hospital for five days. I never imagined that apart from my throat infection, I had kidney infection too. Got scared pa when doctors tested me for dengue and typhoid fever, God is good and it just boiled down to systemic viral infection. And now that I'm better, I'm so thankful about it. I regarded my being sick and hospitalized as my "long deserved rest" because I did'nt have a choice but to really be in bed and sleep all I need (i wanted it too but that time, it was more of a need). I didn't get thin though during the first 2 days in the hospital, it's just the dextrose giving me my nutritional needs since I just throw up everything I take in (even just water!!!), and now I'm back to eating, really eating..hehe.

I'm aware of the tons of work I need to catch up, but for now, I'll just enjoy the remaining days of the break and get some more strength before I get back to work. I have people to thank to for taking good care of me... the hospital staff especially the nurses of the 8th floor of Medical Center Manila, Dr. Bernardo and the Medicard person who always visited me and took care of my medical expenses. My kuya Paolo for bringing me the Zesto mango I love so much, my tita Merlie and the ensaymada she brought, Paul for the visit, Jasper for the kulit. Mama, thank you so much for taking very good care of me and being there all the time. To all my students and friends who prayed for me, my co-teachers-- thank you for all your prayers. Brenda and Chesca who were my constant textmates, thanks for keeping me updated to what happend in class. And most especially God... Dear God, they wouldn't be with me if not for you.. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

I now promise to take care of myself for all the people I love.

Confused

I'm happy with the way things are in my life now but I feel some sense of emptiness within me. I'm CONFUSED with a lot of things like in my work, friendship and even about myself. I'm aware that I can handle things (of course with the help of other people and most especially GOD) but at times i still get stressed and rattled. I guess I got more confused (or I think more of worried) when I noticed that my body is slowly giving up on me. I try to do all things I can at the same time but didn't mind when I already get sick. And I guess what I'm more worried right now is the state of my voice. It's the main weapon I use for my work but my voice have been horse for almost a month now. When I consulted with my cousin who happened to be a specialist on E.N.T. and head and neck surgery, he told me the possibilities of what can happen to me if I don't take care of myself and of my voice. He was not intending to scare me but he just simply presented to me the worst case scenario. Its nothing serious right now but what if...

I'll try to sort things out soon. And I hope all my confusions will be gone by the time I get to reflect about my life.

I'm sorry if I also confused you with all the stuff here. But for now, these are my THOUGHTS AT THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT.